I was debating whether or not to submit this discussion, but what the hell.
Five days ago, Category 4 Hurricane Ida approached so rapidly to where I live that there was no time to evacuate. So if I had to ride this damn thing out, I was going to dip into my rum collection. It had to be from acceptable ones that are very affordable and easily replaced. In other words, no gold mixers. I started off by finishing off the last six ounces or so from Appleton 15 Year Black River Cask. Then it was finishing off the last few ounces of Foursquare Probitas. This was done early in the morning of landfall as the first feeder bands hit and both rums put me to sleep.
I was awoken at 5 pm that day by high winds. The center was 70 miles away on the strong side of 130 mph winds. Then the drinking resumed with El Dorado 8 alternating with Three Roll Cinnamon. This put me back to sleep and saved my nerves all the way past the next 5 hours whereby it came closest to me at 55 miles on the strong side of 105 mph. I did not notice a thing until I saw the havoc that it wreaked the next morning. Then the real hell started with several days of no air conditioning with my home heating up to 93 degrees Farenheit inside. I had no idea how long this hell would last, so the drinking resumed. (We were without power and internet for the next 76 hours or more.)
It was actually more comfortable to sit outside on my back yard swing or anywhere in the shade. And this is where The Fly Test begins! El Dorado 8 is semi-dry and a few damn flies kept going after my snifter. I had to switch to that damn plastic cup with a lid and a straw. Then it was back to Three Roll Cinnamon. More damn attraction to flies. This gave me an idea to open up a bottle of dry and funky Jamaican white rum called Proof & Wood The Funk. Wow! The flies wanted nothing to do with it because of the funky aroma and no addded sugar. I tried another bone dry sample (which I forgot what it was) and no flies! Then it was time to break out the most expenive rum that I ever bought, which is Diplomatico Ambassador. I already knew that this one is semi-dry. Damn! This rum brought out the most flies! And as we all know, flies are attracted to turds! Before this hurricane, this rum had tumbled in my ratings from a 9 to a 6, so that proves that I am not a fly! My final test was Gasparilla Coconut Rum and the flies were attracted, but not nearly as bad as to that sample of Ambassador.
So basically, to hell with using the rating system used by the so-called wine experts. It does not work for rum and The Fly Test beats it for sure. Our own rating system on this site works just fine because it is very simple and designates all of our diverse tastes. But if one ever wants to know about added sugars and any other additives, just use The Fly Test! Yes, it is disgusting, but it works!
Signup to like this comment
That is a really great idea for using jam jars to ward off the bugs outdoors. However, I could have used one of my Hart & Sons "I hart Rum" tiki jars and covered the top with plastic coasters that I save from coffee cans. Why didn't I think of that? One cannot think straight at all in such conditions. It was several days of hell on earth!!!
I am all comfy in my air conditioning now with internet. I just cannot go anywhere until more of the nearby power comes back on to be able to buy gas. I am not about to wait two hours in 93 degree heat just to buy gas. No drinking for quite a while because I may have to drive to get gas on a moment's notice. Each trip trying to find gas wastes more of this precious fuel, so I use two great websites to find gas. I should be able to get some in a day or two. I am still marooned because of needing gas, but at least I am comfortable.
I am also using my internet and phone service to help friends in peril trying to figure out when they can come back home safely.
And when it snows once every few years down here, everything shuts down because no one knows how to drive in it. I have driven in it elsewhere and the key is to not do anything stupid. There are a LOT of stupid people down here.
That is hilarious!!!!!
I finally got a full tank of gas yesterday evening, but that is another long story not worthy of this forum. I still have not had anything to drink at all since August 31st and no longer have a desire to do so. Eventually, my rum urge will come back, but in serious moderation.
My theme song during this horrible time from Hurricane Ida was a classic from 1973. Just Google "Procol Harum A Rum Tale". As you know me, I really frown upon actual links.
Paul, I am glad you survived Ida without any harm to yourself (well, maybe some alcohol induced discomfort aside) and used your time so well spent!
So now all I have to do now is leave a couple of pounds of minced meat in the garden and breed me some flies!!
Thank you so much for the much needed humor!!! In the present comfort of my home, it all appears back to normal. Those three days were truly hell on earth and I would not wish them on anyone. I now have about 300 miles left in my gas tank, and when I dare to venture out, I realize how the nightmare continues for most. I quickly get what I need and then get my ass back to the safety of my home. The other day, someone was shot at a gas station from an argument about cutting in line. As the man lay dying, people just left him there while they filled up their gas cans to run their generators. Police officers need to man each gas station. Like I said, this has been hell on earth and I am damn lucky to be alive. Tempers are flaring everywhere and it does not take much to piss some people off in this heat.
My bright spot has been the new release from Iron Maiden released two days ago! I have not dipped into my rum collection since August 31st and don't plan on doing so anytime soon. Keep the humor coming, mates!
Advertisement | Go Premium to remove
Are you sure?
Add RumRatings to your home screen for quicker access
All you have to do is click the
icon and then
Add to Home Screen