Plantation XO 20th Anniversary

An incredibly bland, inoffensive, adulterated "rum" intended for mass appeal. In an attempt to satisfy literally every single palate on earth the creators of this rum have totally obliterated whatever soul, substance or character the original distillates may have possessed by blending, refining, re-blending, and then, just to make sure there was no trace of character left, adding a plantation’s worth (LOL, get it) of sugar to each bottle.

Imagine someone decided to shave down Michelangelo’s David into a perfect cylinder. After all, a singular creative expression like David--or indeed any piece of art--will never be to everyone's taste. Some people may find it objectionable, what with all those irregular and uneven edges and lines, and let’s not forget about that penis. But a marble cylinder on the other hand... Who could object to a cylinder?! It’s just a perfectly safe and innocuous marble column, after all. And that’s what this rum is - a marble column. It’s apparently as “smooth” as a marble column too. Being "smooth" is one of the highest compliments one can pay a spirit, don't you know?!

As for what it tastes like... Well, if there was such a flavour as “sweet” then this rum would have it in spades. It’s a borderline-cloying, vaguely toffee-ish, vanilla-esque, coconutty, ethanol water. I wouldn’t be surprised if in addition to the mountains of added sugar there are other additives, such as vanillans, as well. The nose is almost non-existent. It smells like sweet ethanol. If you have a good imagination you might pick up some of those aforementioned toffee and vanilla notes.

The bottle is also quite ugly. It's going for "luxury item" but as is often the case with such goods it just appears tacky and gaudy. The whole thing comes across as brassy and ill proportioned, with that ridiculous stopper being the cherry on top of a wonky shit sundae. Incidentally, I quite like the shape and presentation of the standard Plantation bottles with the bulbed neck, both the squat and slim versions. They are elegantly proportioned, the labels are attractive, and the embossed seal adds personality without overdoing it. Just get rid of that stupid messy-looking twine marketing gimmick, please.

Anyway, I must say it’s a good thing that rum drinkers aren’t a demanding lot who prefer substance over style and who expect to know what they’re actually drinking, otherwise they may start getting the quality they’re paying for...