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Flawed with a glimmer of hope
Alright, I guess it is a kitschy nitschy thing to come up with artsy labels and produce a new rum for the people. Maybe a nice bottle to put on the shelf, but I wouldn't pour it for a friend. Not tasty rum, more like hotel instant coffee, paper filter taste makes is a bit oaky, I don't know if this stuff ever spent time in a barrel though. I see they do have a coffee and cigarettes offering. A great Koko Taylor song but I doubt a great rum either. I don't believe in bashing anybody, maybe they seriously tried to do something different, or maybe it's a gag like fart smelling candles, but for me it was a major miss. As a graphic designer I can't even give them a bump for the bottle design.
I'm sorry. I want to support creativity and entrepreneurial spirit. But this rum tastes like the morning after a bad night in Vegas feels like.
Best left in the lost and found at the police station, I'm afraid.
Forget the color etc, this is cheap rum with the flavor of liquid smoke added. And way too much liquid smoke. To bring this to market shows a lack of care or knowledge about a product. Anybody giving this a rating higher than 5 is being paid.
There I was after a hard days work, off the beaten path of my normal commute home when I decided to stop at a liquor store for some rum. It was a sad little place offering only what I call the usual garbage: Bacardi Silver and Gold and twenty types of Capt. Morgan. On top of all that were several bottles of Stolen Smoked Rum. I've never heard of it before, it was placed on the top shelf of the store and came with a $24 USD price tag so I figured why not try it? Maybe it will be a good small batch to discover. Well, it was awful! I would have been better off with the Bacardi Gold and paid about $10 less...
After becoming sickened by this rum, I researched it online to discover that the makers were privileged hipsters who are more into life style than they are about making quality rum. They try to blend the two together - a feeble attempt to convince customers that their rum is insipid by music and all that lame crap.
At best...this rum a poor attempt to be a whiskey wannbe and their "creativeness" will cause pain to anyone who drinks their product. I wouldn't even give this to someone as a practical joke because I'm not that cruel.
I award them no points. May God have mercy on their souls.
Imagine someone dumped two fingers of Smith and Cross into half a mug of old coffee that someone used to put out their cigarette. Imagine drinking that after eating a butterscotch hard candy. That's Stolen Smoked Rum.
Despite what it might sound like, I don't hate it! I was looking for a challenging drink and I found it here. The dunder flavor typical of a Jamaican rum kind of binds the smoke, coffee, and candy flavors in a grimey nastiness that almost, almost works. Unfortunately there's something artificial about the flavors and way they stand apart from each other. Here's the smoke, here's the coffee, here's the butterscotch. The underlying rummyness just doesn't do enough work to bring everything together.
I haven't had the chance to try it mixed, which might help the drink make more sense. As it stands, it aims high, but is off the mark. the "flawed with a glimmer of hope" description for a 4/10 rum is perfectly appropriate.
Shit, tastes like shit... I bought it because it was on special for $10. I overpaid by $9. No aroma like described at all. It tastes like a cheap whiskey. DO NOT BUY. I will give it away as a gag gift... Never again. I'll stick with my Dark Aged Cruzan or Bacardi, Pussers, but NEVER this shit again!
After being impressed by the label and the concept, my eyes widened as the nauseating qualities of the liquor in my mouth became immediately apparent. The coffee flavour jarred sickeningly with the rum, while the fenugreek was suggestive of hours of indigestive discomfort for the nighttime to follow. As I reluctantly swallowed, my mind was taken back to a poisoning incident I once was unlucky enough to experience in the Middle East while drinking cardamom laced coffee in a smoking den.
The aroma that comes from a freshly poured Stolen Smoked rum is full of oak, peat and caramel sweetness. This is something unique. Something to enjoy with a nice cigar or some Orange zest and dark chocolate.
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